


Sherlock deserves better

by Alythe



Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Fix-It of Sorts, Jim's POV, M/M, Sheriarty - Freeform, the final problem never happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-07-11
Packaged: 2018-10-23 10:55:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 5,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10718004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alythe/pseuds/Alythe
Summary: When Jim Moriarty left, he thought Sherlock would have a happy relationship with John Watson. He'd chosen him over everything when he'd jumped, after all. So Jim disappeared and created a new life for himself...But he kept an eye on Sherlock, because he was a tiny bit obsessed.He stayed away...Until he saw the footage of Bart's morgue. John beating Sherlock,  and Sherlock not even trying to defend himself. Sherlock wasn't happy. Sherlock deserved better.(The story follows the events of seasons 3 and 4 from Jim's POV.  Mostly season 4 compliant, ignoring The final problem, because none of it made any sense. Mary's background and motivations are a bit different, too)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After season 4, I had a conversation with a Johnlock shipper. She was really disappointed. When I tried to cheer her up saying the fandom was still there, she told me she no longer shipped them after the morgue scene, because Sherlock deserved better. 
> 
> That got me thinking. Sherlock deserves better, Sherlock deserves Jim. I looked for a fic like that, and found none, so I decided to write it.
> 
> This is going to be a series of very short chapters, posted daily.
> 
> This is a Sheriarty story. That means it's going to be dark. Not too much, because I love happy endings, but there will be mentions of drug use, and hints of Jim's past, which wasn't exactly happy.

Jim Moriarty was dead.

Of course, Jim Moriarty was only one of the several identities he had, and being a secret criminal mastermind was not easy when your face is on every newspaper. 

Sherlock had jumped. He'd chosen his pet doctor over an interesting life with Jim, so there was no point in staying. Faking your own dead is easy when you have a good sniper on your payroll, a bag of blood and you're not stupid.

He left, and assumed another of his identities. When it became boring, he played with Sherlock, because he was still trying to find all his connections. Poor Sherlock had no idea of how impossible it was. Even if he destroyed every single one of Moriarty's operatives, most of his identities had as many contacts. Some, even more. So he played with Sherlock from the shadows, saw him running across Europe looking for traces of a ghost.

It was months before he thought about John Watson. He'd thought Sherlock had contacted him, but apparently not. And John Watson was suicidal. 

If Sherlock went back to a London without John Watson, that would break him. And Sherlock was too beautiful to be broken. 

John Watson was ordinary. He dreamed with a house, a white fence and kids. A glimpse of that would keep him alive until Sherlock got tired of chasing the memory of Jim.

Mary Morstan owed him. She'd been on the run, and had gone to Jim for safety, for a new identity. She hadn't had anything, and she'd been desperate. Jim had helped her, in exchange for a future favour. That, and the knowledge of her past, meant Jim owned her. So he contacted her, and gave her a very simple task: keep John Watson safe.


	2. Chapter 2

There was something fascinating in being invisible. Being Jim Moriarty was fun. But being a lawyer in Madrid for a week, then becoming a waiter in Milan for an evening, and a university student for a fortnight...That was exhilarating. Put on a good suit and comb your hair, change slightly your body posture to show dominance, and people will fear you. Wear a uniform, act like the others, and people won't even notice you're there when you serve their food. Wear old jeans and t-shirts, and messy hair, and you'll look ten years younger. 

It's amazing how much information you can gather like that. Jim had so many masks that he'd forgotten which one is true. Maybe all of them. Maybe he's just masks, and there's nothing behind them. But his business had never been better, and it was so much fun....

He should forget about the past. And he did it, mostly. He only had two reminders: 

He kept the phone. The one he gave Sherlock, even though he never texted and he never will. (Who would text a ghost?) 

Keeping the phone was reckless, but making Sherlock run across Europe, and playing with him...He had to stop. But there was something fascinating on Sherlock's face, when he thought he'd solved a riddle, when he thought he'd accomplished something. And Jim couldn't stop.

 

After a few months, he thought about checking on John Watson again. Mary Morstan was good, but he hadn't survived this long by being reckless.

Why everybody he employed was an idiot? Because...Of course. She'd fallen in love with the doctor. Jim groaned, frustrated, and gave the order to capture Sherlock. That would make the Iceman rescue him, and bring him back to London. Maybe it wasn't too late.


	3. Chapter 3

Jim was surrounded by idiots. Get Sherlock. Capture him, hold him until big brother comes to rescue him. It wasn't complicated. But they were idiots, and when Jim had said "capture", they'd understood "torture." 

Jim had seen the footage, because he always kept an eye on Sherlock. He'd seen Sherlock's beautiful skin with wounds that would scar. Sherlock's skin would have scars that Jim hadn't put there, and that was wrong.

He'd killed them all. Stupid, incompetent, useless minions who couldn't follow elemental orders. He'd called Moran, who was the least useless of them, and, with his help, he'd cut their skin, following the patterns they'd left on Sherlock's. One by one, as Moran held them, until it felt almost as if he'd marked Sherlock. He'd marked those who'd marked him. It wasn't the same, but it would have to do. 

He knew he'd have a bad day after that, once the high of the kill and the blood ended. But it was worth it. The marks on Sherlock's skin were his.


	4. Chapter 4

On bad days, Jim's mind didn't feel his own. All those little details and patterns he saw all the time stopped making sense and screamed at him irrelevant data. He wasn't in control of his own thoughts, and that terrified him.

Well, it had terrified him, until Moran had witnessed it. Jim usually fired (killed) everybody who'd seen him vulnerable. But Moran...He didn't look scared, didn't mock him, didn't try to leave. He just was there. After about an hour, Jim had destroyed most of the flat. Breaking things helped, some times. And Moran had just looked at him, smirking.

"Wanna kill something, Boss?"

And Jim had discovered that hunting was fun, and focused his mind. Blood helped, too. And Moran had stayed.

 

Sex helped, too. Actually, Jim had discovered that anything that made his body feel helped him to stop focusing on his mind. And sex was easy. It was a bit like hunting, too. Finding somebody, convincing them, seducing them until they thought it was their idea. Or pretending to be prey, acting vulnerable and interested. It was like business: the right clothes, the right body language, and he could have anybody.

Of course, it never meant anything. Warmth, a body, endorphins. 

He'd never had sex as himself, never let anybody see him. Why would he? Changing masks was fun, and kept his mind busy.

 

After Serbia, it was bad. Very bad. He lost track of Sherlock for a while, because he lost track of reality. When it was over, he was in a safe house with Moran, who, after looking at him for a minute, handed him his laptop without a word. Jim ignored the blood and the state of the flat, and started to look for Sherlock, wondering what he'd been up to.


	5. Chapter 5

Jim had eyes in London. Operatives who worked for him without knowing who he was; a few loyal people, who thought him dead but kept working in his name; three people who knew he was alive and still worked for him, out of a mixture of greed and loyalty.

Lately, his eyes in London were watching Sherlock. He had files and reports on what he'd been up to. But he had something better: He had eyes inside 221b Baker Street, because he'd planted some obvious cameras for Sherlock to find, and some hidden ones he hadn't found. So he played the videos, starting from the day Sherlock had gone back.

Sherlock was looking for something. Studying people and patterns, for some reason. If something was going on in London, it wasn't Jim's doing. Somebody else was playing with Sherlock, and that was...wrong. 

But he was far away, and still not ready to go back, so he just observed, wondering when the doctor would move back in.

The Iceman visited, and there was no sound in the footage, but Sherlock's body language screamed at Jim from the screen. Funny. 

The doctor didn't move back in, and, apparently, he was engaged with Mary. That wouldn't do. Sherlock looked sad and almost broken. He should do something about Mary, but a sudden disappearing would make Sherlock look for her, and Jim wasn't ready, not yet.

There was a man who didn't work for him, not exactly, but he'd used several times before. Somebody who controlled the media, and would be interested in knowing Mary's past as a mercenary.

Of course, he sold the information, instead of giving it for free. People didn't trust free things, after all.


	6. Chapter 6

Staying alive was a challenge. When the patterns were clear, he could predict almost everything. And living in a world with no surprises was dull. He'd found distractions. Some were better than others, and Sherlock was the best. 

Keeping Sherlock alive was a bigger challenge, specially from apart. Sherlock was bored and lonely, and stayed for days and days inside the flat. It worried Jim for reasons he couldn't name. So when he started solving crimes with Molly, he was relieved.

Molly was interesting. She kept anatomy books in his flat, with tiny hearts and kittens drawn in the margins. She'd keep Sherlock distracted, for a while, even if the cases were stupid. 

That meant Jim had time to plan. It would take time, several months, but he'd go back to London. And Sherlock would be waiting.

 

He was distracted with his plans. That was why he didn't notice John Watson being kidnapped. When he found out, the memory of kidnapping John and meeting Sherlock brought a smile to his face. Sherlock would rescue the doctor, of course. And he had Mary's help. Mary, despite having fallen for the doctor, was very good. 

Jim didn't like it, though. Only he should play with Sherlock. But he couldn't, not yet, so he did the next best thing: trying to play with the Iceman. Innocent things under fake identities that would keep him distracted and annoyed. It wasn't the same, but it was a distraction.


	7. Chapter 7

Jim had several alerts with Sherlock's name, in case something important happened and he was distracted. One of those alerts had to do with Sherlock's parents. They were disappointingly ordinary, but Jim kept an eye on them, just in case. Some times fascinating people hid under ordinary masks, and they'd raised both Sherlock and the Iceman.

He didn't find anything interesting, but when he found out they were going to London, he got curious. A bit of research told him they'd bought three tickets for Les Miserables. Three. That meant either Sherlock or his brother. It was reckless, it was stupid, but he was getting restless and needed to see Sherlock. 

He was an actor. He could sing. And he could cause a small accident to one of the performers. He could also hack the company so his name (one of many, not his real one, of course), was the next they called. 

It was a small role, wearing a wig and a lot of makeup. And Jim only wanted to play it once, on the nights the Holmes family were there.

Sherlock wasn't there. It was disappointing, but being literally in front of Mycroft Holmes without him noticing was extremely satisfying.


	8. Chapter 8

Since Jim was already in London, he decided to have a look at Sherlock's little mystery. First step was hacking into Big Brother's computer. That was easy, the password always had something to do with Sherlock, and Jim was number one Sherlock's expert. 

Some sort of terrorist attack. Right. Jim used some of his contacts, and discovered a plot to blow up the parliament on the fifth of November. There was something poetic about it, but Sherlock wasn't at his best, so...

Finding the bomb was ridiculously easy. It was a beautiful thing, a modern detonator, small and without any hints of how to dismantle it. Luckily, it wasn't armed. Jim could just take the detonator with him, but Sherlock would suspect something. So, instead, he chose the most obvious detonator he could find (big numbers showing a countdown, obvious red and blue wires, and even an off switch.) 

Sherlock would find a way to disarm it, even as distracted as he was.


	9. Chapter 9

Sherlock went back to solving his small mysteries. Some times John tagged along. Others, Sherlock was on his own. For some weird reason, Sherlock was planning the wedding, but Jim decided not to intervene, since he looked mostly okay.

After observing Sherlock for a while, Jim became bored. Sherlock was the best distraction he had, true, but some times even he was boring. And, since Jim was back in London, and he still had contacts, he decided to take a few cases, too. 

It was the same as before. He had several aliases, and some of them had a reputation of solving problems. Some people still tried to contact Moriarty. The cases were mostly dull, and he charged people depending on what they could pay. Some times it wasn't even money, it was just information, or a future favour. 

A woman wanted to kill her husband to inherit his fortune. She became rich, so Jim took half of everything. 

A man wanted to steal some experimental medicine as a last resource to save a loved one. He was clever and resourceful, so Jim exchanged that for the man getting some documents another client wanted destroyed. Something about money laundering. Dull, but Jim got a nice house in Paris as payment for making the evidence dissappear. 

A kid wanted out of a dangerous home. Jim didn't charge for that, and had nightmares the following night. After that, he had a bad day. Sebastian helped with that, he was used to it and knew what to do. 

A man wanted to discredit a rival to get a promotion. Jim charged him a future favour, and kept the evidence in case the idiot tried not to pay.

Another man wanted revenge for the dead of a loved one. He blamed a man called John Sholto. Jim was about to say no, because it sounded dull, but the name rang a bell. It was related to Sherlock, somehow. So he decided to take the case and study it carefully.


	10. Chapter 10

Major John Sholto. The name was familiar, but Jim needed a bit of research to find out why. John Sholto had been John Watson's commanding officer. Interesting. He digged deeper, and found some pictures of their unit. They were together in every single one, and the way they looked at each other...definitely interesting.

Hacking into Watson's computer was routine by then, but he'd never paid attention to the wedding invitations. And there he was, in the list: John Sholto. Jim remembered the pictures, and was absolutely sure that he'd be at the wedding.

The wedding. It would be hard, for Sherlock. A nice murder would help, surely. Or at least distract him.

The case was simple. Planning a murder was almost boring at that point, but doing it in an interesting way required more thinking. Sholto had some nerve damage from a war wound. That meant....no sensitivity on some areas. He could do something espectacular with that.

The client, of course, was an idiot. To make it worse, he represented several people and all of them had to approve of the plan. And they wouldn't, unless they were sure it would work. And where was Jim supposed to find somebody else who wouldn't notice the pain? Wait. Wait, there was somebody. The Queen's Guard, trained to ignore pain for hours and hours. Yes, that would do.


	11. Chapter 11

Jim hadn't expected Sherlock to be involved. Not yet, not until the wedding. But there he was, with the doctor at his side. He was so focused on the case that didn't notice Jim, dressed as a tourist. It was the first time Jim was close to Sherlock since they'd faked their death, and the proximity felt electric. 

He didn't linger, because he wasn't stupid. He'll see Sherlock when he was ready, when the plan was ready. Until then, he could play, but he had to stay hidden.

The plan worked...mostly. The guard didn't die, but it was close enough to convince the client. If doctor Watson hadn't been there, the man would have died. 

There were just a few more details he had to plan, mainly how to give his client access to the wedding. The obvious option was the staff; nobody paid attention to them, and they could access almost everywhere. Unfortunately, that idiot had no experience cooking, or waiting tables. Jim was about to give up, frustrated, when he noticed some red marks on his neck, from carrying a camera. Photographer. Yes, that would work nicely. 

He made sure the man was hired for the wedding. And then he did something very stupid: he hired one of his aliases to work in the kitchen. The guests wouldn't go in there, and he wasn't sure if he'd be there, but...Sherlock would be in the next room.


	12. Chapter 12

Jim spent a few weeks making plans and taking cases. He didn't need the money, but he was bored. The wedding was getting closer, and Jim was confused; if Sherlock was so in love with the doctor, why didn't he do anything? It was a difficult question, and Jim wasn't good at romance. He researched a bit when the cases got too dull. It was all about opportunity and the right setting. A hint of danger, alcohol. 

It was ridiculous. If Sherlock loved John Watson, he'd have done something already, but...Jim wanted to be sure. Opportunity, alcohol: the stag night. 

He manage to convince everybody else to leave John and Sherlock alone, hacking into their emails and suggesting the idea so none of their friends was sure of who'd suggested it. 

Danger was easier, just sending a client at the right moment.

Sherlock took care of the setting, clubs near the places where they'd solved crimes.

Alcohol was a given, it was a stag night.

Everything was perfect...And nothing happened between them. Maybe Jim had a chance, then. Maybe. Smiling, he decided to attend the wedding.


	13. Chapter 13

Jim didn't attend the ceremony. What for? It would have been easy, the church was full of people and nobody would notice him. But he had no interest in witnessing how John Watson got married to the woman Jim had assigned his protection. Sherlock's reaction would be interesting, but he decided to focus on the reception.

Clothes wouldn't be a problem, he was given an uniform. He wore no products in his hair, that always made him look younger and harmless. And he'd be in the kitchen most of the time, Sherlock wouldn't have a chance to see him. 

His stupid client would be there, too, but Jim had kept all their interactions online, he didn't know his face. And Jim Moriarty was dead, everybody knew that. If the new boy in the kitchen looked a bit like him...Well, those things happened, right?

It worked beautifully. He even got to carry some trays from the kitchen, but nobody paid attention to the staff, and Sherlock was too busy telling John Watson that he loved him. Or something like that. At some point he heard a noise from the main room, and one of the waiters told the others that the groom was hugging his best man, and it looked as if they were marrying each other. 

Time for a distraction, then. The plan was perfect, even if the victim didn't die. That wasn't Jim's objective, he just wanted to keep Sherlock distracted. And maybe watch Sherlock's face when he solved a case. It was...mesmerising. 

Later, once the kitchen staff had left and the guests were dancing, Jim waited outside. He had no idea of what he was waiting for, usually people danced for hours at these kind of events. He hid in the shadows, waited for a few minutes and was about to leave when he saw Sherlock. Who left a wedding early? Jim frowned, and decided to follow him.


	14. Chapter 14

Jim was good at following people. He let the cameras do the job for him, which was easy if you could control them. It wasn't a magic code, it was skill. And maybe a bit of bribery. Having several workers in his payroll helped, too.

Sherlock went to Baker Street, which wasn't a surprise. Jim arrived there about an hour later than the detective. He climbed to the roof of the adjacent building, and then he used the fire stairs to get into the flat thought a window. Because Mycroft Holmes was always watching the door, and, even if Jim had power over him, Mycroft would risk it to protect his little brother.

Sherlock was lying on the couch, wearing the trousers and shirt he'd wore at the wedding. The jacket and the hat were lying on the floor, and Sherlock's sleeves were rolled up. Jim examined the vials on the table, but they weren't labelled. Then he studied Sherlock carefully. Still breathing, slow but steady. Good enough. 

"You're late."

Jim stared at Sherlock's face, and took a step back. Sherlock was high. Maybe delusional? He decided to play along. Maybe that way Sherlock wouldn't realise he was real.

"I'm never late," he said, smirking. "The party starts the moment I arrive."

"Are you going to kiss me?"


	15. Chapter 15

Most people had lines they'd never cross. Jim had...guidelines. And on bad days, not even that. He almost never got his hands dirty, but he'd planned crimes that most people would consider evil. There was just a line he'd never cross. Sherlock, high and helpless, asking for a kiss was very, very close to that. And very temping. 

"Kiss you? Why would I do that?" He asked, walking a step towards Sherlock.

"Or kill me. It's always one or the other. Both, some times."

Jim blinked, and studied Sherlock's expression. There was something there he couldn't read, a mixture of hopelessness and...desire? 

"I shouldn't be here," Jim said, moving slightly closer.

"You're dead. You left. You were the better distraction, the only distraction, and you left. The game was fascinating, and you couldn't...stay alive and play!"

Sherlock's words were difficult to understand, and he sounded suddenly angry. That was...weird. "And now you want a kiss," he said calmly.

"No! Yes! Are you going to make me beg again?"

"No, darling. Just answer one question for me," Jim replied, wondering how many times Sherlock had had delusions about him. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes. Everybody else is dull." 

The answer was immediate, and Jim doubted Sherlock could lie in that state. So he decided to steal a kiss. 

It was stolen, because even if Sherlock said he wanted it, he wasn't really in control. A stolen kiss...was very close to that line he'd never cross, but he couldn't help it.

Jim's mind was always burning with sensory input and tiny details, with partterns and plans, and some time it was so noisy in his head that it hurt. Kissing Sherlock made every part of Jim's brain focus on Sherlock's lips. And everything else became....silent. 

Jim broke the kiss after a moment, because if he kept going he'd never stop. Then he left without looking back, wondering if Sherlock would even remember.


	16. Chapter 16

Leaving Sherlock's flat was one of the most difficult things Jim had ever done. He wanted to stay, and make sure Sherlock didn't look that sad again. He wanted...

But it was a bad idea, and he hadn't survived this long by being stupid. And he was a bit worried about having a bad day, after kissing Sherlock. 

That fear was what made Jim go to Moran's room that night. Moran always wanted him, and he'd take whatever Jim wanted to give, without asking for more. Another stupid idea, maybe, but it made his mind focus on his body instead of those silly memories. At least that part of his life was easy. 

 

Jim tried to go on with his life. There were some cases, and Moran, always by his side. Random people, when he felt like it. It had been just a kiss, it shouldn't be that difficult to forget. But he still had cameras in Baker Street, and the temptation was too strong.

Sherlock didn't get better. He was high almost all the time, and barely left the flat. During John's Watson honeymoon, Jim visited Sherlock eight times. After each of them, he promised himself he'd stay away, but he always ended up going back. From those visits, he got:

-Three kisses, more or less like that first one. Because Sherlock still thought he was dead, and apparently had fantasies about Jim kissing him. Jim tried not to think about that too much. 

-One weird night when Sherlock handed him a knife and asked Jim to hurt him, to make his mind silent. Jim was very good with a knife, and had pressed it against Sherlock's arm, moving it very slowly. He left a faint red mark that would be gone by the time Sherlock sobered up. Jim definitely shouldn't find that memory hot.

-A bad day, when Sherlock didn't recognise him, and just screamed. Jim just left, and spent the rest of the day watching Sherlock through the camera to make sure he was okay.

-Two times when Sherlock tried to take off Jim's tie. And maybe the rest of his clothes. Jim didn't stay enough to figure it out.

-One time when Sherlock took off his own clothes, and begged Jim to stay. And to make the air colder. That night Jim stole another kiss, and left, because Sherlock's beautiful mind looked almost broken, and that was...wrong.

He knew he couldn't visit Sherlock again if he was sober, but Sherlock couldn't go on much longer like that. It was time to do something about it.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the kudos and comments! I'm sorry about the delay, but his last vow is complex, I needed to watch it again and plan what I was going to write. I'm back to the daily schedule, at least until we reach the end of season 3

Jim wasn't very sure of how to help Sherlock. He couldn't get involved, not yet. The Iceman would just send Sherlock to a rehab facility. Sherlock would scape in a few days and use again. 

He tried to tempt him with some cases, but it didn't work. Sherlock showed some interest, but never enough to leave the flat or stop using. That left...John Watson. Jim was pretty sure John Watson didn't love Sherlock, after the stag night (well, marrying somebody else was another hint, but...). John Watson didn't love Sherlock, but he cared. And Sherlock...Jim had no idea of what Sherlock felt about John, not anymore.

Sherlock was acting as if he'd broken up with a partner. He erased John's presence from the flat, even moved his chair into the bedroom. That might mean he was trying to get over him, but...some nights, when he was high, Sherlock slept on that chair. Did that mean Sherlock was still in love with John Watson? Jim didn't know the answer, and that was frustrating. 

And...Sherlock had a girlfriend. The pretty brodesmaid from the wedding, who worked for Magnussen. That should have made Jim jealous, but...there was something off about it. They kissed, some times. She spent a lot of time there, and they shared a bed. But they never got physical, and Jim suspected that she slept there because Sherlock didn't want anybody sleeping in John Watson's room. 

Jim looked into her, hoping to find something that helped Sherlock. There were some interesting things, but nothing helpful. 

If he wanted Sherlock to get clean, he needed John Watson. But John was a newlywed with a pregnant wife who was still angry at Sherlock for dying. How could Jim get him involved?


	18. Chapter 18

John Watson wouldn't go to Baker Street. And he wouldn't look for Sherlock in any of the places he went when he was high. Jim spent a couple of days studying the Watson's routines and the people they interacted with. There was a neighbour...Isaac Whitney. He was an adict, and Jim knew his dealer. That would work. The worried mother would go to her neighbours for help, and if Jim timed it carefully....yes.

He needed some more time to make the dealer go to a different area, so Isaac was in the same place as Sherlock. The mother followed, one time, but she didn't dare to walk into the building. Soon, then. 

Jim decided he wanted to be there. Which was stupid, but...it was a dangerous place, and Sherlock was high and vulnerable. So he put on an old pair of jeans and a big hoodie, lay down next to the wall and waited. 

Isaac was there a few hours after Jim. Sherlock arrived the following day. He looked....awful. Broken. It made Jim want to kill something, and...no. No, the plan was better, Watson would help.

Some time later, Jim heard screams. Nobody in the room moved, so he didn't, either. When John Watson walked into the room and shouted Isaac's name, Jim was sure he was facing the wall. And, as he'd planned, Sherlock revealed himself to John. 

"Did you come for me, too?"

Sherlock's voice sounded so broken...If Watson didn't help, Jim would have to do something.


	19. Chapter 19

Sherlock left with John Watson. Of course he did. Even if Watson was angry and screaming at Sherlock, Sherlock always followed. He'd always chose John Watson. Jim should know that, he did know it. He'd accepted it after Bart's...

He'd accepted it. He'd kept John Watson alive so Sherlock could have him, because that was what Sherlock wanted. He'd accepted it. But...if he'd accepted it, why did it made him want to break everything around him? To burn down that stupid house, to... No. No, if he did that, somebody would look into it, and Jim wasn't ready to come back, not yet. So Jim did the next best thing: He got high. He was at the right place, nobody knew who he was, so he was safe. Or as safe as he could be.

He knew what he was doing, mostly, so he only took enough to make the pain bearable. For some reason, it made him want to go out, find a warm body and forget about everything. There was nothing stopping him, so he went to a club.

Jim carried a knife, and he knew how to use it. He felt safe. And he found somebody, as different from Sherlock as somebody could be, red hair and a lot of muscles, somebody he usually wouldn't have gone for. 

Somehow, he ended up in a strange flat, doing things he wasn't sure he wanted to do. He should stop, but his mind didn't know how. And suddenly there was blood, and Moran was here, talking with a worried voice, which made no sense. But then he was home, without remembering having gone there, and Moran was there, so he could sleep. If only he could stop feeling so sad...


	20. Chapter 20

Jim woke up with a headache and a weird taste in his mouth. He was at home, in his room. In his bed. Wearing...a big, white t-shirt that he recognised as one of Moran's. He looked around, confused. He had vague memories of the previous night. There had been...a club. And...sex? He sat up slowly, and saw a glass of water on the bedside table, with a bottle of painkillers. He took one, drank some water and stood up. 

The room moved around him, and keeping the water inside him became difficult. He breathed deeply, and waited until he felt a bit better. Then, walking slow and carefully, he went to the living room.

Sebastian was there, watching something stupid on the telly. When Jim walked inside, Moran looked up. 

"Feeling better, Boss?"

Jim studied Moran's face, and decided he wasn't mocking him. Probably. Carefully, he sat down next to Moran, and groaned. 

"You followed me, didn't you? Why?"

"Keeping you safe is part of my job description," Moran shrugged.

"So you follow me around and kill my dates?" Assuming the man was dead. Jim remembered blood, so it was a logical assumption.

Moran stared at Jim in silence for a moment. It made Jim confused, because he wasn't looking at his face. Jim frowned, looked down and studied his body. Bruises. How had that happened? And...more important... "How did you know?"

Moran shrugged again. "I followed you to the club.You were high. He bought you several drinks and tried to touch you. You protested, and he kept trying. I don't trust that sort of people, so I followed you. You were..."

"What?" Jim asked, trying to remember.

"...He deserved to die," Sebastian said calmly. "And no. Sorry, Boss. If you don't remember, that's good."

Part of Jim wanted to know. He could know a lot just by studying the bruises on his skin, but something in Moran's face made him decide not to do it. 

Moran waited in silence for a moment. When Jim didn't say anything else, he handed Jim a pendrive. 

"What's this?" Jim asked, trying to clear his mind.

"What your detective was doing yesterday. I think you should watch it."

Jim studied the pendrive in silence, wondering if he should just stop. Sherlock loved John Watson. He should... "Bring me my laptop."


	21. Chapter 21

There were three files in the folder. Jim played the first one, and watched a lab at Bart's. There was no audio, and Jim made a mental note to fix that. Molly was running some tests, and,after that, she slapped Sherlock. Three times. Sherlock just stayed there, without trying to move away or protect himself. Weird. If only the image was a bit better and he could read their lips...

Jim watched them arguing for a while, and Sherlock getting a text and leaving the room. Weird. 

The second file was from outside Baker Street. A cab arrived, and Sherlock got out of it. Watson followed him after a moment, and paid the driver. They were still fighting, the body language was clear. 

Jim frowned, and played the third file. It started shortly after the second one, inside Sherlock's flat. There are three people inside: Mycroft Holmes, and two policemen, searching the flat. Jim watched Sherlock and John walking inside. Sherlock looked furious, and shouted something at his brother. Then he curled up in his chair and closed his eyes. 

After that, Sherlock had a row with Watson. Reading their lips carefully, Jim found out it had to do with Watson's chair. Then Mycroft and Sherlock started to argue again, and Sherlock mentioned a name. Magnussen. Jim paused the video, confused. He needed to think about it, watch the video again and plan what to do. And his head was killing him.

He rubbed his eyes, exhausted, and took a painkiller. That would help.


End file.
